Television shows I hate: Bridezillas

(Warning: Misogyny ahead!)

Women that are “Bridezillas” should be punched in the face. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) There is plenty of garbage on TV these days, but most of it I can ignore. Women’s Entertainment’s Bridezillas is not one of them.

I can hear you saying “Why are you watching that network to begin with?” It’s not me that flips through the channels and settles on WE… it’s my girlfriend. Being of the female persuasion, her taste in just about anything is questionable to begin with. To be fair to her though, there are a lot of other shows that we sit down and watch together: Everybody Loves Raymond reruns, Lingo and Chain Reaction on GSN, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends and even a Brewers game every once in a while. But Bridezillas takes the fucking cake.

For those lucky enough not to have seen the show, it’s about women who go batshit insane – as if they weren’t already – when it’s time to get married. All the details about a wedding – the bridesmaids dresses, DJ’s, food choices, so on and so forth – are under scrutiny here by these women who may or may not be mistaken for a female Atilla the Hun. I’d really feel sorry for all the people involved, but they all agreed to go on camera and let it all hang out, so screw them.

It didn’t take long to figure out the actual point of the show. It’s not about weddings. It sure as hell isn’t about how women can go psychotic, because any man that’s ever been with a woman for more than a week already knows that. No, the true nature of the show is this: it’s to make women feel better about themselves. A woman can bitch and moan about how she’d like more help around the house, how all her friends suck, how she’d like to lose some weight; that’s all fine and good, because at least she’s not like that.

(Whether she is or not is an entirely different story that depends on the woman. My girlfriend is not, for your information.)

You might be thinking the type of woman on Bridezillas is your typical bottle blonde with fake breasts and daddy’s checkbook, nothing more than an attention whore. But you’d be wrong.
Yes, there are spoiled little princesses on there, and I’ll get to an example later. But from the few shows that I have see, the brides-to-be span across races, socioeconomic status, and even attractiveness. I don’t know if that means that the producers didn’t want to play up to stereotypes (or wanted to exploit all of them) or if that all women are just crazy.

Considering I figured out the point of the show after watching only a few minutes, my mind got to wondering about another aspect of the show – how in the hell did these women get to be this way? I mean, if these women were so bitchy all of the time, how could a man possibly stand her, let alone want to marry her? Is she blackmailing him? Is he the father of her child? Is the sex so mind-bogglingly great that he just doesn’t care? To go back to the example of the spoiled princess before, there was one woman who was hot, blonde, bitchy: a stereotypical bridezilla. What surprised me about the whole thing was for the wedding party, there were no bridesmaids. It’s one thing to do something because it’s different, or in her words she “just didn’t want to deal with the hassle.” That’s fine. But unless she’s a stripper or porn star and wanted to be done “family-style” after the ceremony, all that said about her is that she doesn’t have any friends that can stand her.

I don’t know if any of what I just said is true. I’m a believer in that most people are generally good, so I think it’s a stronger force than the general nature of a woman. Could it be that her parents simply raised her to be a spoiled brat? Or is it the way that weddings are marketed to women in this country, that every little thing can be hers because it’s her special day, and to hell with anyone who thinks differently (or rationally).

It’s no secret that a wedding day is a woman’s special day and thus it should be as pleasant and perfect as possible. But I do take issue with the idea what the bride should get whatever she wants whenever she wants, and if she doesn’t then it’s just fine that she breaks into hysterics. Unfortunately honey, the world doesn’t revolve around you, even at your wedding. There are a lot of other people involved in the whole thing, so that means you have to compromise with them. I was taught at a young age that compromising was part of what marriage is about; marriage is a sacrifice, not a slaughter, and just because you have a vagina doesn’t mean you can treat other people like shit when you don’t get your way.

I’ve been very negative so far. Maybe I really am that hateful and misogynistic, but not all is bad both in life and with this garbage passed off as television. Quite honestly, this show makes me laugh. Why? Because the brides in question actually think that all of the people involved in the wedding actually care. Sure, they want everything to be nice and for everyone to get along. More than likely they’re happy that you’ve found a (potential) soul mate. But ultimately it’s just another day to get dressed up to go to church and another excuse to get ridiculously drunk with family and friends. Maybe if these women had a little fucking humility, they would be able to realize that.